I have really tried to live my life by thinking that everyone is the color blue. I think stereotyping was more prevalent in my parent’s generation. Unfortunately I am not perfect and now that I am a parent I have found myself doing it to a degree. Although I do not believe my type of stereotyping is what one would consider normal: race, color, religion or maybe sex but it is of a different nature. I cannot think of one word that describes it so I will use a bunch of other words to try to explain myself.
I have a seven and a five year old and they live just to play with the other kids in the neighborhood. There is one set of children that the parents do not pay attention to their kids: where they are, what they are doing, or who they are with. Because their parents whom I feel are not responsible people I put the stereotype on their children as bad kids. I know it is wrong but it’s hard to not feel the way you feel, even if you know it’s wrong. Getting to know the kids it was an unfair judgment to make on one of the little girls but it came true for all the other ones. The youngest one has been banned from my house for the last two summers because she has violence tendencies. The youngest boy I caught trying to talk my little girl into doing inappropriate stuff (just kissing but I am a dad and that is my little girl, you do not even consider that at 7), the oldest boy I thought was going to turn out alright but he ended up being a jerk. The little girl that is the same age as my daughter turned out to be a darling. She is a good loyal friend that is a good example. I feel bad I branded her wrongly at first but the other 3 I nailed it right on the head. I don’t know if it is ever warranted but probably should try not to do it. (353)
My (unsolicited) advice to you is to remember there is no such thing as a bad child, only bad parents. Even if the parents are bad that doesnt mean your children are going to follow in their footsteps. We have a rule in my home if we do not agree with their friends parents parenting choices they are not allowed to go there. However their friend is more than welcome in our home as long as they follow the rules. All of my childrens friends listen to the rules in our home even though they are different from their house. Sometimes it takes a little bit for them to adhere to the rules in our home, but if they blatently disregard our rules more than twice (depending on the rule, sometimes it only takes once) then they are no longer welcome in our home. I have five children and realized you cannot control other people, but as long as you are a good parent your children will most likely follow your guidance. Believe it or not all children crave structure, so be patient with the other siblings and guide them rather than banish them. You might end up making a difference in their lives.
ReplyDeleteGood rule. I must say that it is difficult finding playmates sometimes, but it is always a good policy to let friends come to your home.
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